Hearts and Minds
by smcgarrett50
Summary: Steve returns to Hawaii after being away on a highly classified mission for four years. Now that he's back, will Kono allow her prior feelings for him to interfere with her marriage? Rated M for love scenes.
1. Chapter 1

**[Authors Note: **This story just popped into my head so I decided to go with it. This was originally going to be an AU Steve/Kono one shot, but I had so much to work with that it ended up turning into a multiple chapter fic instead. Make sure you Review to let me know your thoughts on the story. If there aren't enough readers why should I keep updating and wasting my time? I do not own any rights to the show or the characters and this fic was not beta'd. Hope you enjoy it. Rated M for love scenes.**]**

**Summary:** Steve returns to Hawaii after being away on a highly classified mission for four years. Now that he's back, will Kono allow her prior feelings for him to interfere with her marriage?

* * *

Kono sat at her desk attempting to accomplish some paperwork that she had been putting off for a while and since work was slow that day she figured it would be best to get it out the way. Lost in her work, she hadn't realized that Danny came back from lunch and stood outside her office having a conversation with Chin by the computer. It wasn't until she heard Danny's voice vaguely mention a name that made her pay attention to their conversation. _McGarrett._ She hadn't heard that name in a while and she wondered why she was hearing it in that moment or if she had misheard him.

Kono got up from her seat and made her way outside of her office to stand next to her colleagues. "Hey, what're you guys talking about?"

"Danny was just telling me that-"

"Steve's back. He just called me a few minutes ago and told me he landed this morning. He'll be gracing us with his presence momentarily."

"Oh wow, that's great." She forced a smile. "It's been so long since we've seen or heard from him."

"Seems like it's been longer than four years." Chin added.

"Now that he's back from his 'highly classified mission', maybe we can see about getting five-0 up and running again."

Kono stood in silence watching them interact as she silently began to panic at the thought of seeing McGarrett again; her mind began to race uncontrollably.

"Is he back for good or is he on temporary leave?"

Uncertainty formed on Danny's face. "That I don't know, but we can ask him when he gets here."

"Why don't you just ask him now?" the familiar voice asked from the doorway.

They all looked over seeing Steve standing at the doorway with his large duffle bag in hand. He grinned as he dropped the bag onto the floor and Chin was the first to walk up and greet him. Next up was Danny who let out a laugh and pulled his best friend into a bear hug. Kono stood at a distance watching the guys interact with each other; she swallowed hard and forced a simple smile when McGarrett walked over toward her slowly. She thought her heart was going to beat out of her chest.

Steve pulled her into a gentle embrace, carefully wrapping his arms around her waist as if she were fragile and took in the light scent of vanilla that radiated off her soft skin. "Good to see you, Kono."

She wrapped her arms slowly around his neck, feeling weak at the knees as his body pressed against hers. Those secret nights they had spent together years before flooded into her mind. She felt the familiar chill that ran up her spine every time she felt his breath hit her neck. She didn't want to admit it to herself, but she missed him and she knew it. "Good to see you, too, Steve."

He gradually pulled away and faced Chin and Danny. "So what's new? What's been going on these last four years?"

"Danny remarried Rachel and-" Chin answered.

Steve's eyes widened, he smiled and grabbed onto his shoulder. "Wait, what? When did this happen? Congratulations, Danno."

"Thank you, you're a year late, but I appreciate that. Chin here proposed to his girlfriend last week… and Kono took the plunge herself."

Steve turned his head toward Kono and smirked at her; making her feel sick with nerves. "That so? Who's the lucky guy?"

"Adam." She answered, successfully hiding the nervousness.

"Congratulations. You too, Chin. Listen, How about tonight we all go out to celebrate? My treat."

"Wish I could, but Rachel, Grace and I have a date night. It's the only time we really get to spend time with Grace now that all she wants to do is hang out with her little friends."

Chin sighed. "I can't tonight either. I promised Nina I would go with her to her niece's dance recital."

"I could go…Adam is working late, it'll be nice to catch up." She blurted without thinking, mentally kicking herself for doing so.

McGarrett smiled. "Ok, then. I'll see you later on tonight. We'll all grab a drink sometime this week. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going home to get some sleep."

"Wait a minute; does this mean you're back?" Danny questioned.

"For the time being, yes, Daniel… I'll see you guys later."

Watching Steve walk up toward the door, grab his duffle bag and leave their office was like slow motion for Kono. A part of her was still in disbelief that he was even back in their lives after thinking that she may never see him again. Once he left, Kono told Danny and Chin that she was going back to her office to finish up her paperwork. When she reached her desk the only thing she could focus on was her last night with Steve.

_**/Flashback-Four Years Ago/**_

_Steve groaned tiredly as he gave one last deep thrust and reached his climax. He could still feel Kono trembling beneath him due to her intense orgasm just moments prior. A moan escaped his lips as he continued to feel her pulsating around him before he slowly pulled out of her and collapsed beside her onto the bed. He wrapped his arms around her bringing her close to his chest and attempted to regulate his heavy breathing. While his fingers grazed through her damp hair, she swallowed hard and looked into his eyes as she placed a hand on his face._

"_You don't have to go, Steve. It's not mandatory."_

"_It is for me and you know that, Kono."_

_She began to breathe easier. "You didn't have to agree to this mission."_

"_Of course I did. I made a commitment to my country, if they need me I'm there."_

"_What about Danny? Chin? What about me? We need you."_

_He cupped her face, looking sadly into her eyes. "I thought you of all people would understand why I'm doing this."_

"_I do understand, it's just…" she closed her eyes and touched his forehead with hers, "I really don't want you to go."_

"_Hey, look at me. I'll be back." He smiled._

_She opened her eyes. "When, Steve?"_

"_Honestly, I don't know." _

_He leaned in and gently kissed her lips before getting out of the bed. Kono sat up in her bed and covered herself with the bed sheet as she watched him dress. "Please don't go."_

"_I have to, Kono, I'm sorry."_

_After wrapping the sheet around her body, she got out of the bed and walked up to him as he buttoned up his shirt. "You can't."_

"_My flight leaves in two hours. Why are you so determined to prevent me from leaving? You know everything will be fine."_

"_It's because I love you, Steve. You can't leave."_

_McGarrett stood there in silence after the confession then took a step closer her. He leaned in, pressing his lips to hers only to deepen the kiss seconds later. She slightly parted her lips allowing him access to massage his tongue gently onto hers, causing her to moan into his mouth. His fingers tangled in her hair, he showed no sign of stopping. Roughly fifteen minutes passed and Steve pulled away from her slowly. They looked into one another's eyes as they tried to catch their breath. "I'll see you soon."_

_**/End of Flashback/**_

Kono jumped when she heard the knocking at her door that brought her back to reality. Her eyes widened and she quickly changed her expression to happiness when she saw Adam. She loved her husband, but now that Steve was back her thoughts and feelings were all over the place.

He walked in to her office with a smile on his face and a bag in hand. "You've been busy lately and so have I, so I thought I'd come to see you and bring you lunch."

"You didn't have to." She stood and smiled to be polite.

He stepped toward her, placed the bag on her desk and wrapped an arm around her waist. "I wanted to. I also came to ask you if you wanted to go out to dinner tonight. I moved some things around in my schedule so I can spend some much needed time with my beautiful wife." He placed a kiss on her neck.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Adam. Chin and I are…going on a stakeout tonight. Rain check?"

"Sure. No problem." He smiled sadly. "I should get going. I have a meeting in a half an hour. See you later then?"

"Yeah. See you later."

Adam pecked her lips and looked into her eyes lovingly. "I love you, Kono."

"I love you, too." She answered with less conviction, not enough to alarm him.

As he walked out of her office, Chin walked in moments later. "So we're going on a stakeout tonight?"

"Chin…"

"Look, Cuz, you know I'll cover for you. I just want you to be careful."

"What do you mean be careful?"

"You think I was born yesterday?" he sighed. "A few months before McGarrett left, I noticed things were different between you two. It didn't take long for me to put two and two together. After he left, I noticed a change in you and how much you were hurting. All I'm saying is that you're married now, Kono, you need to be smart."

"I appreciate what you're trying to do, Cuz, but don't worry about it. What happened with me and Steve is secret ancient history and it wasn't serious…wait, does Danny know?"

"I don't think so, but that's not the point-"

"I know the point, Chin. You have nothing to worry about, I promise."


	2. Chapter 2

**[Authors Note: Sorry to make you wait, but I'm here now. I hope you all enjoy chapter two and thanks for being patient. I have to reiterate that my stories are not beta'd. I do not own any of these characters and this story is AU. I love reading your replies so keep them coming! Rated: M for love scenes and language. If you read my other fic "Away From The Sun" I'm working on the next chapter tomorrow.]**

* * *

After pulling up to the office and stepping out of his truck, Steve dialed her number and waited to hear her voice on the other end of the line, finding himself slightly anxious. He hadn't realized how much he had missed Kono until he saw her for the first time in four years, looking more beautiful than he remembered. The thought of her being married made his stomach turn. He figured she would have been with someone after all these years but for some reason her being married didn't cross his mind. Steve knew that it was something he was going to have to get used to, especially if he was going to try to be in her life again.

"Yeah?" she answered sounding a little distracted.

"Kono, it's McGarrett. You ready to grab that drink? I'm outside." a small grin appeared on his face.

"Oh, hey, Steve. Yeah, give me a minute and I'll be right out."

"Alright, see you in a bit."

He hung up and leaned against his truck waiting for her to come out. As he stood there with his arms crossed against his chest, his mind couldn't help but wander off to a memory he relished.

**/Flashback- A little over four years ago/**

_"Goddamn it!" he shouted angrily while shoving a few things off his desk then leaned against it breathing heavily._

_Kono quickly walked into his office after hearing the commotion with concern etched on her face. "Boss, what's going on? You okay?"_

_"No. I'm not okay, Kono." He answered sternly. "That son of a bitch we've been after the last four days not only took out three more innocent people, but he just took his own life."_

_She lightly bit her bottom lip attempting to figure out what to say next. "We knew he wasn't going to allow himself to be taken alive."_

_"I didn't want to give him that satisfaction! That fucking coward."_

_"At least he can't hurt anyone else." She spoke softly attempting to make him see the brighter side to the situation. "Steve, is there anything else that's bothering you?"_

_"What're you talking about?"_

_"I'm getting the feeling that there's something other than this case that's bothering you."_

_He pushed away from his desk and knelt down to pick up the mess he made on the floor, not wanting to acknowledge that something else was in fact bothering him. Catherine. "Other than not catching that son of a bitch alive, nothing's bothering me."_

_"Steve…" she took a step closer toward him, "you can talk to me."_

_He let out an inaudible sigh and stood up straight, his eyes locked with hers. "I don't want to talk."_

_"Then don't…" she whispered._

_Something in her tone, the way her eyes were looking into his, it made him become a different person in that moment. Without hesitation, Steve picked her up and sat her on the edge of his desk before kissing her hard. He knew that it was fine when he felt her kissing him back and her arms wrapped around his neck, but he pulled away slightly anyway feeling that it was wrong since he was her boss. "I'm sorry, Kono. I shouldn't have done that."_

_"I don't want you to stop." She demanded as she grabbed his shirt and pulled him into a rough kiss making him realize how much he really wanted her. Steve placed his hands on her thighs and squeezed them making her moan gently into his mouth. She lightly bit on his bottom lip then slowly opened her eyes. "Close the blinds."_

_He walked over and closed the blinds, then locked his door before walking back over to her and stood in-between her legs. "You sure this is what you want to do?" he asked already feeling the bulge in his pants._

_Kono leaned in and kissed him again, then kicked off her shoes. McGarrett felt her hands move down his chest and stop at his pants, feeling her unbutton his jeans making him grin into the kiss. Without breaking the kiss he pulled her hands off of him and quickly unbuttoned her pants, pulling them off with her panties in one quick motion. With her help he felt his pants and boxers fall to his ankles, then he swiftly put an arm around her and slowly slid himself inside of her unaware of how much of him she was able to take._

_"Oh fuck, Steve." She whimpered against his lips not expecting him to be as thick as he was._

_He let out a soft groan feeling her hug tightly around him, making him feel the need to ease in deeper. "Oh shit."_

**/End of flashback/**

"So should I follow you there?" she called out as she walked up toward him, her voice making him break the trance he was in.

He quickly scanned her body before he looked into her eyes. Fighting the urge to grab and kiss her right there. "No, I'm driving. Hop in."

"Okay."

The ride to the bar was silent and Steve wasn't sure of what to say. He had been gone for four years and he knew that there was plenty to talk about, but he didn't know where or how to begin. All he could think about in the moment was their last night they spent together and what she has said to him before he left. He was beginning to regret leaving that night.

When they arrived at the bar and placed their orders, he noticed Kono was looking at his left hand as she sat across from him at their table. It made him a little nervous, wondering what she was thinking, but he played it off.

"Is there something you're not saying, Steve?"

"What're you talking about?"

A half smile appeared on her face and she nodded toward his hand. "I see the slight tan line left from a ring on your left ring finger."

He looked down at his hand and saw what she was talking about as he took a deep breath and cleared his throat, hoping that he didn't have to say anything but he couldn't avoid it now that she asked. "I haven't told anyone yet, alright… Catherine and I got married about two years ago when we had a short leave."

"Oh…wow…congratulations." She forced a smile.

"No need. We're getting a divorce." He answered casually and took a swig of his beer once it had arrived, wishing he asked for something stronger. He could see that she was at a loss for words so he decided he would make it easier for her. "No need for the 'I'm sorry's' or awkward conversation about it. It just didn't work out between us… So, you and Adam. When did that happen?"

She ran her fingers through her hair and took a sip of her own beer seeing that he was changing the subject. "A few months after you left, Adam came back to Hawaii after legitimizing the business. We spent a lot of time together and long story short we decided it was time for us to get married."

"So you're happy with him?"

"Excuse me?"

"You fell in love, you married him, is he making you happy?"

He could tell by the look in her eyes that she was feeling slightly uncomfortable, but she wasn't the only one. "Yes. He makes me happy."

"Good. That's all that matters." He leaned back into his chair and took another swig of his beer as he scanned the room. "So what's been going on since I left?"

She saw it as an opportunity to break the awkwardness. "Kamekona opened up a few different restaurants on the island. He's in talks with people on the mainland about opening up a small restaurant in California."

"You're shitting me." He chuckled.

"He's quite the entrepreneur and he's been creating these crazy dishes. They're actually really good."

"I need to go see him and try one of these dishes. Remember that omelet he made us try?"

She laughed and shook her head. "Don't remind me. I'm just glad those days are over."

"Maybe we can go tonight."

"Yeah. I'll give him a call and he can reserve us a seat."

He raised an eye brow and looked at her with a confused look on his face. "Reserve us a seat?"

"I'm telling you, business is going very well for him."

"This I have to see."

She felt her phone vibrating and saw that it was Chin calling, putting her finger up to Steve to give her a moment. "Hey Cuz, what's up?...You serious?...Alright. Send me the address and I'll be right there." She hung up and sighed. "Caught a case. Gotta go. You mind taking me back to get my car?"

"I don't mind." He stood and pulled out his wallet to put money on the table, looking over at her wishing they could have more time together. "What're you guys working on?"

They both walked out of the bar and toward his truck. "Triple homicide. One of the victims is a friend of Grace."

"Shit. How's Grace?"

"I don't think she knows yet." They both got into the truck and he made his way back to HPD. As he drove, Steve looked over at her and half smiled making her smile in return. "What?"

"Rain check on going to Kamekona's."

She nodded. "Yeah."

"Good…hey, Kono?" he sounded slightly hesitant not wanting to make it weird between them again, but he needed to say something before he forgot about it.

"What's up?"

"Me and Cath…could you keep it between us for now?"

She swallowed and nodded her head, forcing a smile. "Of course."

"Thank you."

He pulled up to HPD and parked his truck. Not wanting to say goodbye to her just yet, but he didn't have a choice. They looked over at one another and she moved a piece of hair behind her ear. "Well tonight was…fun."

He laughed. "Fun?"

"Ok, maybe it was a little awkward, but it got better."

"Next time will be better."

She smiled genuinely. "Yeah."

"Come here."

He leaned toward her a bit and she did the same as they both embraced each other. Steve couldn't help take in her scent like he did earlier, missing the ability to be close to her like they once were. He felt her softly rub a hand up and down his back. "I'm really glad that you're back." She spoke softly into his ear.

"Me, too."

At the same time they both carefully pulled away, but kept eye contact with one another. He felt his heart beating harder; he wanted to know what was going on in her mind as he traced her lips with his eyes, wondering how he was able to control himself. Steve slowly leaned in and softly planted a kiss on her cheek as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Goodbye, Steve." She whispered and quickly got out of his truck.

He watched as she walked to her car. Once she got in, he exhaled heavily. _'What the hell am I doing?'_

Steve drove off wondering if he was really able to only be friends with a woman who he wanted more than he could ever imagine. Knowing that she was married was torture enough, but being near her, taking in her scent, feeling her soft skin, wanting to make her moan and scream the way he used to but not being able to, that was the real torture.

As he pulled up to his house his phone began to ring. Looking at the caller ID, it read 'Governor' and he knew that could only mean one thing. "When do I start?" he spoke without hesitation when he answered the phone.

* * *

She walked into the house to take a look around at the crime scene. Truly shocked at what she walked into. "Jesus, it's a blood bath in here."

Chin looked over at her with a sad look on his face. "You don't want to go into the master bathroom then."

"Where's Danny?"

"On the phone with Grace right now, trying to calm her down. Word got around pretty fast."

She sighed while putting on some gloves. "Poor thing."

"Yeah... So, how did drinks with Steve, go?"

"It was alright. Had a beer and talked, didn't stay very long because this call came in." she spoke as she carefully walked around the room, analyzing each spot where there was an evidence marker. Not wanting to make eye contact with Chin knowing that he would be able to read her.

"That's it?"

"Yeah, Chin. That's it."

"Okay, Cuz." He spoke as he took a couple more photos.

Kono felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. After pulling it out she saw that Adam had sent her a text message and read it, 'Hey beautiful, I love you.' She stared at the message a minute, but knew that something was wrong when she was wondering how to respond then quickly shoved the phone back in her pocket.

"What is it, Kono?" Chin asked noticing that she was acting a little strange.

"It's nothing. I'm going to check the other rooms."


End file.
